He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
