I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
