1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
