Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
