PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
