I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
