i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
