I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
