kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
