i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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