that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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