Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
