That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize