Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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