This girl is more easily done than said...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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