I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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