I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
