So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
