Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
