i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
