"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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