VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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