I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
