24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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