we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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