I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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