Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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