mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
