a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
