I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
