i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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