Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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