and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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