she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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