I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
