thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
