I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
