Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
FUCK WHALES
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
