i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
