I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
