a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
