Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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