She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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