he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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