you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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