I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just want to make out with him forever
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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