Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
