I wish I could teleport
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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