porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
