She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
