I cannot find my penis.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
