Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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