Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
