I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
