I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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