it was like eating out sand paper
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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