This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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