I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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