Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
