She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
