Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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