She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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