There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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