is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
