can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
