Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
